Women on the Edge - XX Rated
In an effort to stimulate my petrifying, middle aged brain and bring my sexual-gratification knowledge base into the 21st century, I turned to the reliable Wikipedia to baseline how internet users generally define orgasm denial AKA ruined orgasm AKA Edging. Why this particular topic? Well, I suppose I wanted to know if Mr Grey’s famed techniques are really what E.L. James makes the out to be. Small problem, Wikipedia throws back a blurb saying ‘This site has been nominated for deletion.’
This was quite fortuitous as it encouraged me to trawl the greater net. What I found can only be described as gems of comedy and talk about an eye opener. So let me share the joy of my morning through a synopsis of my discoveries:
~#!LOL (Laugh Out Loud/Lots of Love– whatever!) No.1: The Medical Model- My first hit was a medical site called eHealth forum. Embedded amongst articles like ‘What is flatulence’ & ‘Bacteria and the intestine’
(I joke you not)
I got closer to my mark with an article called ‘Penis aches after orgasm’. Whilst this must be a terribly serious affliction for sufferers of penis ache, the medical take on orgasm denial caused me to feel such a sense of euphoria, for which there is bound to be a physiological explanation, that I could not resist extending my search even further.
(And boy, does it get better!)
I learned that there is a medical name for a type of sexual dysfunction in which a person cannot achieve orgasm, despite stimulation. Apparently, Anorgasmia can often cause sexual frustration.
(Talk about stating the obvious!)
As an author of Victorian romance novels, it seemed quite natural for me to do a little bit of historical digging:
(This is not for the faint-hearted, so feel free to skip to ~#!LOL No.2 if you are not ready for the next ingenious medical intervention reveal)
For the affliction commonly called hysteria (literally, "womb disease") the physician advised as follows… we think it necessary to ask a midwife to assist, so that she can massage the genitalia with one finger inside, using oil of lilies, musk root, crocus.
Female genital massage to orgasm by a physician or midwife was a standard treatment for hysteria, an ailment considered common and chronic in women.
(And no-one thought this had to do
with the ignorance of ‘man’ or
the social strictures and
censure of the time!)
~#!LOL No.2: The Psychoanalytical Perspective- Did you know there have been hundreds
(I kid you not. Hundreds!)
of studies, articles, investigations into the connection between personality and delayed sexual gratification. Well, I for one am thrilled that scientists and researchers have taken time out of their esteemed academic careers to enrich my knowledge base, and now yours, with these gems of information like this-
Girls who were able to delay gratification were found to be deliberate, attentive, reasonable and competent. Boys who did not delay gratification, by contrast, were irritable and restless.
(Just for entertainment value I decided to write this from the perspective of someone who may have their beer goggles on i.e. A pint or two down the hatch, imbibed, verbally disinhibited. Here goes nothing–
Girls who were able to delay gratification were found to be deliberate (aka: needy), attentive (aka: desperate) reasonable (aka: justifying their dry spell) and competent (aka: in denial). Boys who did not delay gratification, by contrast, were irritable and restless - Its Christian Grey!)
~#!LOL No.3: In the end, I returned to the original source of my curiosity for answers and to my delight found the comments of Fanfiction contributors-
Sorry, there is no medical effect of just not getting to ejac*late. Although if you hold it in on purpose when you are about to ejac*late you can cause an embolism;
Blue balls is a myth;
If anything, it is good for you… your body produces excess semen and sperm... which when not released is reabsorbed by your body;
Orgasm denial is no picnic;
The effects of protracted orgasm denial- glandular cancer… studies have proved that frequent ejaculation decreases a man's risk of prostate cancer. One study showed that men who ejaculated five times a week...
It is held in many mental health circles that orgasms relieve depression & stress.
We all get the moral of that story, but
wait for the humdinger.
Here it comes!)
If your partner likes to use orgasm control to get their way, you may want to consider finding someone who truly loves you! On the other hand, if you are a willing participant and it is your “kink” to deny orgasm, you should consider “milking” by regular prostate massage.
(What the hell!!!)
(So, after a morning of hilarity, I consider myself
dutifully informed, but not reformed.
I guess I will just have to find out for myself
Whether or not I am a woman for the Edge)
Sites used for my research and entertainments are listed below:
The technology of the orgasm- https://www.nytimes.com/books/first/m/maines-technology.html